If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
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you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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