Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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