Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
