i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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