So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
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other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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