Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
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When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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