It's just like the Real World with babies
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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