What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize