he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
