We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish you could order shots online.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
