so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
