when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
