Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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