I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
