Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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