I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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