Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This house was built for laser tag.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
