6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Terrible idea I love it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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