Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
