There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
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Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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