Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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