halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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