Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
