the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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