at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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