You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
