I need help removing her.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
