who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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