I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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