College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
