Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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