my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
