she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
