I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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