A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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