Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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