he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
