this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
