waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
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there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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