He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
