No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize