I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
