I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize