did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how can u be prego again
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
