Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just high enough for therapy.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
