This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sober January is a disaster.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
