I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize