no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize