I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize