Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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