what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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