Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
