filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
